IF YOU MUST GO, I WISH YOU TRIPLETS
A MEMOIR
TO BE PUBLISHED APRIL 2025,
LOYOLA UNIVERSITY/ APPRENTICE HOUSE PRESS
Sometimes, we know the least about those we love the most.
It took less than an hour for an old life to end and a new one to begin. When Virginia DeLuca’s sixty-year-old husband abruptly walked out on their serene and happy—even joyful—marriage, proclaiming a sudden desire to have babies, everyone had a theory. He already knocked someone up. Nervous breakdown. Brain tumor.
After fourteen years together, she was left with the mystery of the ending and the need to forge an unknown path. DeLuca, a psychotherapist, spent decades helping clients cope with sudden losses and dramatic changes—and now it’s happened to her. Now, she must hunt to find the truth of her own story.
In the tradition of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb, If You Must Go, I WishYou Triplets is an unflinching exploration of love and relationships from a woman who ultimately found that life can expand in unanticipated ways.
ADVANCE REVIEWS & PRAISE
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"DeLuca's memoir is gripping and emotionally stirring as it weaves together grief, laughter,
outrage, and redemption. She speaks directly about the shock and upheaval of betrayal, ofwhat it means to confront change at a stage of life when we often expect complacency. DeLuca is a master clinician at work on herself, charging fearlessly down the path of making sense of it all. There are no simple villains and victims here, but full people. Her rare combination of
beautiful writing, cool mindedness and warm loving heart make for a deep meditation on
humanity from which you emerge changed."
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ORNA GURALNIK Psychologist, psychoanalyst and star of hit
Showtime series
Couples Therapy
"I love IF YOU MUST GO, I WISH YOU TRIPLETS! Reading Ginny Deluca is like sitting across from
your funniest, wisest friend over coffee. Her story of late life love and loss is layered and rich, and endlessly interesting. Deluca got me to think more deeply about my relationships, about how we make space for each other’s hurts, and how to best tend to our own."
ALYSIA ABBOT
Writer, teacher, speaker, and author of the acclaimed memoir
FAIRYLAND: A Memoir of My Father
"What a fantastic book… like reading a mystery, racing to see what happens …and then finding
clarity and the triumph of the ending. It was an extraordinary experience… I've never felt quite
this way before with any book."
ABIGAIL THOMAS
New York Times
bestselling author of
A Three Dog Life
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"As you travel with Ginny through grief-land, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll undoubtedly want to
punch her husband, but most of all, you’ll learn how to overcome the unthinkable with grace
and purpose. A therapist’s hilarious, yet wise perspective and must-read for anyone navigating betrayal."
KAREN KIRSTEN
International seller of Irena's Gift: An Epic WWII Memoir of
Sisters, Secrets, and Survival
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"DeLuca's memoir blends brilliance, raw emotion, humor, and extraordinary insight, examining
with crystalline honesty how a spouse can blindside a profoundly loving and committed partner. Her willingness to dig through 'his and hers' sins of omission and commission and the family history underlying actions that set the scene for disaster provides a remarkably candidread. DeLuca cuts through the layers of longing and grief to find truth and comfort, gifting the reader with the most satisfying of reads, providing both page-turning 'gotta know' and deeply rewarding conclusions."
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"Ginny DeLuca takes us through the terrain of love and loss in middle-age with grace, incredible humor and insight. I had so much fun reading it. I could not put this book down. I was desperate to know what happened to the heroine. Buy one for yourself, and another one for your best
friend."
SARAH RUHL
Two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, playwright, and author of the memoir
Smile
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"This intimate, vulnerable memoir is an absolute pleasure to read, by turns hilarious, frank, and
full of wisdom, making it difficult to put down. Readers will love Virgina DeLuca’s voice and the
central lesson of her story: When we think we’re searching for answers from others, we’re really searching for ourselves."
MAYA SHANBHAG LANG author of acclaimed memoir of What We Carry
RANDY SUSAN MEYERS
International bestselling author of
Waisted
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“If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets is a testament to the vital force that is radical self-love, particularly later in life. With a psychotherapist’s attention, and in compassionate, deeply moving and evocative prose, Virginia DeLuca examines the loss and grief-land a woman in her sixties must navigate after her husband leaves. What she finds is that loving fearlessly, no matter how the story ends, is the only thing worth planning in life. This is a beautiful book that speaks to us all, a poignant exploration of family and self-love full of humor, truth, and tenderness.”
ANI GJIKA
Award winning poet, and literary translator, and the author of the memoir
An Unruled, Body
winner of Restless Books’ 2021 Prize
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"This book stacks losses like stone in a seaside sulpture—making beautiful what would otherwise
be plain and simply hardened. Through a painful narrative of betrayal and backstory, Virgina DeLuca shows us that second chances can be worth it, even if they end up requiring a third act. I
would recommend this book to anyone who might need the reminder that on the other side of today: is tomorrow; and until then: we have rom-coms to help us pass the time."
THERESA OKOKON
Award-winning writer, storyteller,
and teacher. Her first book
is the essay collection
Who I Always Was
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"If You Must go, I Wish you Triplets is one of the most honest, raw, and satisfying memoirs I have read. In a voice that invites the reader in close and never falters, Virginia Deluca, a therapist who believes she should have known better, creates a stunning memoir about the shock of betrayal and divorce during her sixties. Deluca’s fierce self-searching, humor, and willingness to share the roller coaster ride left me breathless, grateful for every page."